Listen, today didn’t start the way I like it to start. It is true that I wanted it different and complained as I got out of bed. I was ANNOYED. I wanted to bitch to my husband, I wanted to bitch to… anyone who would listen. I had a choice to make IN THAT MOMENT! I AM NOT the same person I was yesterday; I am NOT the same person I was a week, a month, a year ago. I am NEW and to BE new you MUST do the new thing. What is that for you? Want the same shit, do the same stuff. Now, I hear you, that’s easy for you to say Mel. You don’t know my life; you don’t know what I’ve GOT to do today!! You’re right, I don’t know what you’ve got but I know what faced me today and I had to choose! I chose NEW Mel, I chose Mel 5.0…Maybe I’m now like Mel 5.56.

I got myself right back in bed and instead of trying to meditate I gave thanks. I appreciated my God and all the surrounding spirits guiding me for my life; I gave thanks and appreciate for my car that run so well. I gave it up for the fact that I have a business to have to get to work at this morning. I gave it up for the fact that my children and grandchildren love me so much they want to spend the night at Grammie’s house. I gave it up that my husband, instead of dealing with the work of today went to his work today to make some money for our family. I gave it up for the fact that I love my pillow. I mean, I GAVE IT UP in love and gratitude and appreciation! Then I quieted down to meditate. I felt my energy rise to match that of my spirits and we began to chat. I recognized that I no longer think I am crazy, but instead that I am blessed. A smile spread across my face and LOVE filled my heart!

THEN the phone call came in from my family. We’re experiencing some challenges and there’s some drama. I did great for the first minute then…then, I got SUCKED IN! OH man!! This is it though, this IS the spiritual work. This is the daily grind. It isn’t always easy but it is ALWAYS a choice. Let’s face it, sometimes we’re so caught up we miss that it is a choice but it still is. Sometimes I miss the choice too, but it’s still a choice. I lost myself for about 30 minutes then began to laugh and hung up the phone. NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! NO NO NO NO! I am NOT doing this again. I am NOT going back there. I am NOT. Now, do I wish I didn’t feel the need to hang up to get my peace back, hell yes! But, in that moment I was either going further in or choosing! I chose, I wish I were stable enough to do it a different way but this time it is what it is.

I want life to be EASY! Oh man do I want that! AND, life is… life. Sometimes easy does come. Sometimes the choice feels hard…but I know I’m not going back…onward sweet Jesus. FORWARD MARCH!

All my love, ~ Mel 5.6