In 2010 I AWOKE, my therapist, Dr. Townsend, called it a spiritual awakening. If he hadn’t been there to guide me, I don’t know what I would have done.

WHAT THE HELL IS A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING?

A spiritual awakening is when you recognize you are more than your physical body and WEIRD shit starts to happen!

1. Weird shit isn’t like you stubbed your toe three times in the same day..it’s like, you’ve stubbed your toe three times in the same day and you know it’s your spirit guides KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKING on your door!
2. Weird shit is like you all of a sudden begin to have really STRONG feelings and you cannot figure out WHY you’re feeling that way…then you discover they weren’t your feelings in the first place, they were the feelings of someone who (probably inadvertently) entered your aura and now you’ve got to clean your chakras. Yes, I said CLEAN your chakras. If you’re in the middle of an awakening, you’ll be learning all about chakras and that you clean them IN YOUR IMAGINATION!
3. Weird shit like your kid comes to you and says, I need a “bus” for school (think matchbox car type bus or maybe a picture in a magazine of a bus). You look all around the house for a bus knowing there must be something somewhere. After all afternoon of searching, you can’t find a bus then someone knocks on your front door. You answer it to find your mother-in-law, who rarely comes over, with a matchbox bus she picked up while she was away on a vacation and just had the URGE to bring it over tonight (it just so happened we were 40 minutes OUT OF HER WAY home from the airport).
4. Weird shit like meditating for hours each day is NORMAL and while meditating you are shown “pictures” of things that begin to happen in the “real” world.
5. Weird shit like you just KNOW stuff.
6. Weird shit like, you know you are spirit, and the body is just being drug around for you to fulfil your purpose.

It’s been 14 years since my spiritual awakening. In that time incredibly, magically HORRIBLE things have happened in my life. In addition to those horrible things, truly awe-inspiring things have happened also. The blessing and curse of being AWAKE is that I know EVERYTHING is my fault. The good shit, that’s my fault! The shit I really don’t like, that’s my fault too! Above all of that, I know everything is happening because I draw it all to myself even if I don’t know it, I know it!

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re going through or have gone through a spiritual awakening. One of the reasons I’m writing is because, first and foremost, my spirits told me I’d be doing this 14 years ago and I’ve denied it because I thought I had nothing to bring to the table that would be helpful for others (part of the HORRIBLE I mentioned, it’s because I’ve denied this for all these years). Actually, that’s the only reason I’m doing this. I’m exhausted by fighting against what I am supposed to, at least for now, do.

Here’s why I think I’m meant to be writing…I have desired to witness in real time people going through some of the same weird shit that I am going through. It seems to me that everyone I come across has had these experiences years ago and is already past this IN BETWEEN stage. I call the IN BETWEEN stage the part in which you feel you KNOW what you’re supposed to be doing but think you’re ill equipped to be DOING that thing. For me, I’ve been fighting against it for so long that my physical life has a lot of shit in it that I don’t want. I’m ready to move the fuck on. If this is what I am being pushed to do, so be it.

Let’s be clear. I swear, too often. I often don’t have a sunny personality. I often am sad that my life is where it is right now even though I think I’m BOMB! I have actually nothing to complain about because I have family I love and who love me in return. I have a beautiful, messy, home that I don’t own but get to live in… with my mother-in-law, my husband and 3 of our kids…we have 2 older kids who have their own families and live on their own. I own a business that spirit gave me that I love dearly! I have a body that works well now…I have tons of stories to share that will make me sound crazy, make me sound like a narcistic, make me sound ungrateful. I don’t think I am any of those characteristics. I was told and shown 14 years ago what I was meant to be doing, and I was too afraid to do it so, back up in number 1 of spiritual awakening when I said KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKING…if you hear that you really should answer…. the sooner the better in my humble opinion.

For better or worse, here I go. If you’re in a similar spot, feel free to share with me your story. It always feels better when you know you’re not alone!

~MEL 5.0